Domestic Violence and Alcohol Addiction
There is no excuse for any kind of physical aggression against someone you love. Addiction, intoxication, a bad day at work, even poor choices on the part of the victim – there is nothing that can make domestic violence okay or acceptable.
It doesn’t matter what you did. No one who loves you should ever put their hands on you violently with intent to harm. If you are living in a relationship characterized by domestic violence, do not wait for apologies and promises that it won’t happen again. It always happens again. Leave now, take your children with you, and get somewhere safe where you will be protected.
Alcohol Addiction and Domestic Violence
One of the most common excuses for domestic violence is, “I was drunk.” Many women who are victims of domestic violence even blame themselves for the attacks, saying that they were drunk too and yelling at their partner, nagging him, breaking his possessions or trying to order him out of the house. Alcohol addiction breeds domestic violence, and if it happens once – even if he promises never to drink again – it will most certainly happen again.
Few can stop drinking on their own even when domestic violence isn’t part of the picture. If your partner is violent when under the influence but does not choose alcohol rehab immediately, you should not stay in the house.
Getting Help for Yourself
In the cycle of violence, after the attacker hurts the victim, he or she will often follow up with apologies shortly. When they sober up, there are often long, dramatic promises to get treatment or to make other big changes. If the victim accepts the apology, the days that follow are generally nicer than they were before the attack. The attacker is on his or her best behavior, often attentive and sober. The promise to get treatment falls to the wayside as time passes. Soon, the attacker is having a drink, then two, then more and the victim is quickly back in the position of being physically and verbally attacked.
Getting Help for Your Partner
If you are the victim of domestic violence, you cannot stay in the relationship in an attempt to help your partner. If he or she was going to get help at an alcohol rehab, they would already be gone. If he or she were able to stop drinking alone, then they would have. Your primary responsibility is to make sure that you are physically safe and that your children are no longer subjected to this violence. If your partner has not yet hit you in front of your children, it’s coming. If your partner has not yet struck your child, that too will happen the first time your child tries to defend you from attacks.
Statistics tell us that abused women attempt to leave as many as five times before they make it a reality. Unfortunately, many of them do so in an ambulance, beaten severely or beaten to death by their partner.
If You Need Help
If you are the victim of domestic violence whether or not it is due to alcohol addiction, contact an emergency safe house near you immediately. Ensuring your physical safety and the safety of your children should be your first priority.