How to Deal with a Breakup without Losing Your Mind…or Your Sobriety
It is all so exciting at first, you have this new life, you’re sober, and now you have the perfect boyfriend! But in sobriety, what do you do when that “perfect relationship” comes to an end? It’s a lot easier to stay sober when everything is going perfectly, what happens when it all falls apart? (Or feels like it all fell apart) Honestly, this blog was difficult for me to write due to the fact that I just went through a break-up and I am in recovery and it was pretty hard on me. So I am giving you the experience that I went through myself to get through it.
How to Deal with a Breakup without Losing Your Mind…or Your Sobriety: Grieving Process
The very first thing you have to do is grieve. It’s a grieving process just like any other. To be okay in a break-up you have to first go through the rough part of ‘not being okay.’ There may be a lot of crying and unhappy days but just remember, it will get better! I went through a lot of sad days full of tears, but going through it made me a better person in the end and it did get better!
How to Deal with a Breakup without Losing Your Mind…or Your Sobriety: Meetings
Go to meetings! Not only is this so important to us on a daily basis anyway, but especially when we are going through a breakup. This is definitely the time more than ever to reach out and be around other people in recovery. For me, it also helped me to start going to women’s meetings because personally the last thing I wanted was to be around any men. It was also nice to talk with women who understood what I was going through.
How to Deal with a Breakup without Losing Your Mind…or Your Sobriety: Distance
Create some distance between you and your ex if possible. If you two went to the same meetings, try switching it up. Try some new activities, don’t call or text him unless absolutely necessary. Even then maybe have a mutual friend talk to him. I only say distance yourself and do these things because as my sponsor told me, why would I go places I know he is going to be when it will just hurt me? There is no reason to intentionally hurt our own feelings.
How to Deal with a Breakup without Losing Your Mind…or Your Sobriety: Women Sober Supports
Stick with the women. They are the ones who are going to save you when it comes down to it. These women will be the ones to listen and give you advice when you are going through this and whenever you need them. I’m grateful to have amazing and strong sober women in my life.
How to Deal with a Breakup without Losing Your Mind…or Your Sobriety: Help Others
You need to get out of yourself, so helping others is a great way to do that. Go out there and help another alcoholic or addict, work your steps with your sponsor or get a sponsee and work their steps with them! Once again, this is something we have to do to stay sober anyway but helping people is really one of the best things you can be doing right now.
How to Deal with a Breakup without Losing Your Mind…or Your Sobriety: Take Good Care of Yourself
We have a tendency to stop taking care of ourselves when going through a stressful and painful time in our lives, so make sure you continue to take good care of yourself. Maybe even treat yourself to a manicure or pedicure, relax, and do things that make you happy. Make sure even through the difficult times you continue to make sure you take good care of you!
How to Deal with a Breakup without Losing Your Mind…or Your Sobriety: Give Time, Time
This saying is the worst, but totally true. You have to just give time, time. As time goes on it will get easier and better, you just need to be patient. Which is a lot easier said than done since we crave instant gratification. But just try your best to be patient because even though it doesn’t feel like it, you will be happy and okay again!
How to Deal with a Breakup without Losing Your Mind…or Your Sobriety: Spend Time with God
Of course, I saved the most important for last. Prayer and meditation were absolutely vital parts of me getting through my break-up. They say when you go through hard times in life you either grow closer to God or further from God, luckily I grew closer to him. My relationship with God is so important today and I wouldn’t have been able to get through the break-up without it. If you or a loved one is struggling with substance abuse or addiction, please call toll free 1-888-672-4435.