In September, a commenter asked a great question about addiction relapse risk after reading this post about addiction and family dysfunction.  Drug rehabilitation includes many strides and setbacks, including relapse at times.  Everyone has certain challenges to face with relapse including possible affects from birth order.  Karen, I hope this gives you some good follow-up to your question. 

Question About Birth Order and Addiction Relapse

To bring everyone up to speed, Karen asked a question about addiction relapse risk for her as an oldest child.  She wondered if I found any studies relating to birth order that she could read.  Unfortunately, I didn’t find a whole lot.  I saw a few compelling titles but couldn’t access full articles.  Anything I’ve been able to skim is a mixed bag and not terribly current. 

One addiction article suggests a relationship between only children and heroin addiction (from 1986!)  Other article abstracts didn’t consider birth order or it wasn’t shown as a factor.  If someone has a more comprehensive resource about addiction relapse and birth order, I’m all ears and eyes - please send a link or make a comment.

Birth Order Is A Hot Topic But Not Always Relevant

I have written about birth order before and it’s a topic many people are curious about.  However, the “hotness” of a topic doesn’t necessarily mean it has a lot of substance.  Birth order effects are broad generalizations of personality traits and characteristics. 

Addiction relapse prevention takes a great personal investment of time, energy, and focus.  More than any label or category you put yourself in, you need to know yourself.  It is far more important to understand your own personality, habits, tendencies, etc than something as arbitrary as birth order.  Birth order is somewhat of a factor in shaping who you are. 

One Size Doesn’t Fit All With Birth Order Or Addiction Recovery

Certainly a person who never grew up with an older sibling would have a somewhat different life experience than someone with two or three older siblings.   Perhaps as the oldest you were put in charge of the younger kids when your mom got too drunk in the evenings.  As the baby, maybe you were protected from the truth of an addiction in the family.  But one size does not fit all when it comes to birth order personalities.  All I have to do is look at myself and my sister to know that. 

Maintaining your sobriety comes down to the choices you make from day to day and moment to moment over just about anything else.  Human beings are resilient, so it’s a matter of working with what you have and building on that.  Identify your strengths and resources to help you through those difficult relapse temptations.  And if you need to get alcohol or drug rehab to deal with your relapse, you don’t have to be ashamed.  Drug rehabilitation is an opportunity for self understanding and personal growth.  That will help whether you are a first born or the baby of the family.

Send Questions About Addiction and Women

I don’t promise to have all the answers (who really does?), but I’ll be happy to give you what I know and find out more where I can.  Please feel free to pose questions about women and drug rehab that you’d like addressed as a post here.  I’m at your disposal for support and discussion.

Have you been worried about the US and world economies the last few weeks?  You and just about everyone else.  People with a history of drug and alcohol addiction are vulnerable right now.  With widespread worry and economic problems piling up each day, anyone at risk for addiction or addiction relapse needs to take a good look at how they will weather this storm.

Money Worries Make People Want To Escape With Drugs And Alcohol

The economy is at the center of everyone’s financial prosperity, security, and trust in leadership.  When the economy has big problems, it’s hard to find anyone who is untouched by fear and worry.  This level of concern can trigger alcohol and drug addiction problems that have been lying dormant or in remission for a while. 

Small worries grow into bigger worries.  Bigger worries grow into fear.  Fear grows into panic.  Before long, a person drowning in stress and anxiety can’t take it anymore.  Do they turn to healthy coping skills like exercise and talking to friends, or do they turn to unhealthy choices drugs and alcohol?  It all depends on the person. 

President Roosevelt said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”  There are some real things to fear in the world, but it’s also true that fear fuels more fear even when the triggers themselves haven’t increased.  For a person with a vulnerable personality or drug addiction history, the cycle can spin out of control quickly.

How To Prevent Addiction Relapse In This Bad Economy

First, figure out what you can control and start there.  You as an individual can’t do much about the ups and downs of the stock market, but you can control what feeds your emotions.  For women in particular, research shows that drug addiction gets footholds through emotional pathways.  This is a critical fact to keep at the center of an addiction relapse prevention plan.  Keep the emotional reactions and fluctuations in good balance, and the risk for relapse or beginning a new addiction remains small. 

Here are some ideas for controlling your emotional condition during these uncertain times. 

1 - Control your in-flow of information.  If watching the news gets you nervous, shut it off or throw out the newspaper.  Check it once a day, every other day, or whatever amount is helpful.  The point is to reduce the amount of stress-inducing information your brain has to process.  Let your brain rest and process information without overloading it.

2 - Keep a short list of healthy coping skills that work for you.  These should be simple things like taking a walk, doing a favorite hobby, talking to a friend, etc.   When you are becoming stressed and feel like you can’t think straight, check your list and just follow the directions.  You’ll feel refreshed and less focused on the stressful emotions.  When you are calm, you can take a look at your bigger financial picture if needed. 

3 - Don’t make important decisions about your finances when you are highly emotional.  Emotions can take you places your common sense wouldn’t let you go.   If action needs to be taken with finances or business issues, be sure you have someone else you trust to calmly talk you through it.  You may act hastily if your emotions take over, and a disasterous result may push you quickly towards addiction relapse.

Deal With Addiction Relapse By Going To Drug Rehab

If you find that you’ve slipped into a serious addiction relapse, just stop and take a breath.  There is hope at The Orchid Recovery for Women.  Call them and they will help you get started with drug rehab for women.

Drug and alcohol addiction affects so many parts of your life - family, work, finances, health, legal status, etc.  One of the worst things drug addiction does is distort your reality.  You think you are doing one thing, but you’re really doing another.  You might see the world one way, but the sober people in your life see it entirely differently.  What do you really think you are doing?

Drug Addiction And The Old Switcheroo

When you are addicted to drugs, your mind becomes highly focused on yourself.  You become sensitive about your own concerns, putting the needs of your friends, children, husband or boyfriend, and coworkers in second place. 

The drugs dull and confuse your emotions, but these corrupted emotions are also the cornerstone of your beliefs and behaviors.  Even though it may seem as if you have covered them and pushed them aside, you have actually made your feelings more in charge than ever. 

Because you refuse face your feelings, they become “queen” over you.  Your good senses are constantly trumped by your whims and reactions.  You believe you have done one thing, but you have really done another.  And the addiction will keep you believing this lie forever.  

Denial of Your Drug or Alcohol Addiction

People generally want to believe they are doing good things, even if it’s only for their benefit.  That’s about the only way anyone can really live with themselves.  Ask any financial CEO at the root of the current US economy crisis and they will tell you they “did all they could” to make things work before the crash. 

Imagine you had a drug addiction and that you’ve been getting serious clues you were sending your own life into the tank.  You might believe it would be better to defend yourself than to face the weight of that reality.

So you scratch and claw through your days on drugs, refusing drug treatment and professional help each time.  Most honestly, you probably feel too ashamed or worthless to accept help from someone else.  Or, you feel hopeless about getting your life back.  You may even feel angry at those who would suggest you make change in your life. 

Because you feel such pain and turmoil inside, you toss your good judgement out the door and tell others to leave you alone.  You thought you were being stronger and better by saying you didn’t need help.  Instead, you isolated yourself from what you needed most.  Drug addiction will keep you believing this lie forever as well. 

Drug Rehab for Women Understands The Lies of Drug Addiction

There is a way out of this maze of lies and self-deception.  Drug rehab for women understands the needs and concerns of women with addiction.  They know about the tricks addiction plays on the mind and how it entangles women through their emotions.  With drug rehab you can clear your mind, talk straight with yourself again, and take good care of your emotions.

You know you can’t give in to your drug addiction - sober living has given you the first peace you’ve really known.  One day a drinking party develops at your friend’s house and you have no way home, the next your mom kicks you out of their house “forever” because you argued, and now your friends insist you just need a new boyfriend to cheer you up (every other boyfriend has been a drug addict).  What’s next?  How is a woman able to get through this mine field every day to stay sober?

A Friend’s Party Is A Big Threat To Your Addiction Recovery

Let’s take a look at the first example - a party that suddenly develops at your friend’s house.  First, we need to ask a few tough questions.  How much of a surprise is it (really) that your friend would be having a party?  Does he or she simply not understand your situation?  Or could you have picked a different friend to spend time with right now?

These questions are not meant to instill guilt and blame, just to make you think.  If you ask some of these tough questions about your friends and social situations, you may be able to keep yourself away from predictable risks and problems.

Losing Your Cool Can Lead To Addiction Relapse

You and your dad have a pretty big argument today.  You’ve crashed there several nights the last few weeks while trying to sober up.  Your roommate drinks a lot too, and it’s too hard to be around her every day.  Your dad says he wants whatever is best for you, but he refuses to take the alcohol out of his house while you are staying there.

You and he may not see eye to eye, but you may need to put aside your intense emotions for a little while.  It doesn’t mean you should ignore the problems.  But keeping your focus on negative situations all day long will put you at risk for addiction relapse.  When you feel your emotions taking over, step away and get yourself distracted until you can calm down.

Dating Too Soon Can Draw You Back Into A Drug Addiction

Among your friends you’ve been known to date quite a lot.  You are not single very long before you have someone new in your life.  The problem now is this - you only dated alcoholics and drug addicts.  You are trying to live a sober life and your friends keep trying to hook you up.  Even though they mean well, you know that a boyfriend would just be too much for you. 

You know that you have been trying to fill in a huge empty space in yourself with drugs, alcohol, and bad relationships.  Tell them you know they mean well, but you just aren’t able to have a boyfriend right now.   If you need to, tell them how a boyfriend would be a distraction to your addiction recovery.  This should get the attention of a true friend wanting only the best for you.

There are many more potential pitfalls on the road to addiction recovery.  These are just a few samples of what you might encounter.  The first several weeks and months of sobriety are so critical.  With a lot of support and alcohol or drug rehab, you can start your addiction recovery on the right foot.  You’ll have many tools to help you resist relapse every single day.

Not everyone who uses drugs and alcohol becomes addicted.  Some people can get away with casual use with few consequences, and others ride the thin line between “some trouble” and “big trouble”.  How do you know if you are abusing drugs or truly addicted? 

Drug and Alcohol Problems Depend on Control and Level of Problems

There are some key differences between drug and alcohol abuse and addiction.  They mostly define the level of consequences you suffer and how much time and energy you devote to your drug use. 

Addiction is mainly about losing control of your use.  You have urges and cravings, you satisfy them at whatever cost.  You will give up money set aside for other reasons to stock up your “stash”.  Even if you have commitments with others, you will often dump them to use your drugs.  Or you might use heavily during and around your commitments (family gatherings, before work, before and after your kids’ activities).  You may think you are still “there” for your family, but you may be loaded or drunk when in their presence. 

You also spend a great deal of time getting and using your drug of choice.  Overall, your daily functioning and mental state are impaired enough to begin causing many serious problems.  Your job may be in jeopardy, your marriage, finances, and other aspects of life.  Your general behavior and way of thinking is enough out-of-the-norm that it often causes others to do a lot of adjusting or drop you altogether.

Drug Abuse Is Bad But You Are Able to Cut Back

In the big picture, drug abuse is less serious than drug or alcohol addiction.  It’s serious enough that you are experiencing some real consequences.  You might have a DUI arrest, problems keeping up in school or work, or an unplanned sexual experience.  However, the depth of your problems and the general impact is not as broad as with an addiction. 

You may not like to, but you would be able to cut back or stop your use if need be.  That MIP or DUI arrest may have shaken you up enough to really look at what path your are on with your drug and alcohol use.  Your boyfriend may have threatened to leave you if you get drunk and act mean one more time.  Now you make sure you only have two drinks during an evening because you want to marry him. 

People are all created somewhat differently, and some abuse drugs without becoming addicted.  They may teeter on the border between abuse and addiction, but are able to change their lifestyle and pull themselves back successfully.  Others are not so fortunate.  They may have family, biological vulnerability, and other factors that make even occassional drug abuse a quick road to drug addiction. 

Drug Problems May Need Alcohol and Drug Rehab

Drug abuse is a red flag for troubling behavior - if you or someone you know is using drugs or alcohol and seeing consequences, don’t ignore it.  Tell them you care about what happens to them, help them make some changes to stay on a healthy track.  If it has gone too far and you believe you or a woman you care about has an addiction, don’t hesitate to contact the Orchid for specialized drug rehab for women.