Sober Among Alcoholics
When you are the only one doing something, it can feel like you are wrong. Alcoholism is full of shame and self doubt, making it something not many people want to admit. But what if you are the lone sober person in a family of alcoholics? You aren’t wrong, but the people around you act like it. Alcohol treatment has helped you out of a living hell, but you are worried you might fall back in. It’s a sad truth for some people forging their path of sobriety.
Holidays and Gatherings With Alcoholics In Denial
How about receiving a gift of wine and wine glasses in the family gift exchange at Christmas. Or, better yet, how about having a gift exchange entirely of alcohol? When you are in the alcoholic mode, this sounds like a great idea with built-in fun. For you as a person maintaining sobriety, it’s appalling. What are you to do?
You can simply go and opt out of the gift exhange. Or, you could bring a nice neutral small gift that anyone might enjoy to show a different example (or if there is one person who is a minor or doesn’t drink). Perhaps there is a special person you always enjoy seeing, and you can focus your attention on them that day.
If family interactions are truly detrimental to you, or the presence of so much alcohol would be too tempting, then you need to decline altogether. There is nothing to gain from putting yourself in harm’s way. Whatever “points” you might lose by not being there would pale in comparison to a relapse or emotional abuse.
Family Interactions With Alcoholics In Denial
Now that you’re sober, you don’t feel so great about interactions with other family members who still drink a lot. Plus, they finger-point because you got a DUI or probation or something like that. Is it fair? No. In their minds, the only thing you did wrong was get caught. You are the one with the problem because you have legal and financial consequences. Not them, not ever them.
Finger pointing may make you feel like you are under a microscope. However, blaming and scapegoating are classic forms of denial. You are the bad person because you embody what they are bothered by the most. Who wants to believe they are doing something pretty bad to themselves, anyway? You are simply a lightening rod for the attention, which allows them to keep the focus off themselves and their own life difficulties.
Head For Alcohol Treatment Instead of Relapse
All this can make it seem like your sobriety is something kind of extreme. Like maybe it really would be OK to drink sometimes, if it would make family gatherings easier or make them leave you alone. If you are thinking this about your sobriety, consider attending more AA meetings and maybe even alcohol treatment. It is no shame to voluntarily seek alcohol treatment, even if you haven’t relapsed yet.
If you think your resolve is crumbling and your sobriety plans feel weak, alcohol rehab would be a better option than finding yourself in relapse again. Relapse is for learning, learning about the blind spots in your life. If you can sense you are nearing relapse, head it off at the pass by getting alcohol treatment now. Don’t let any off-track thing your family says or does shame you out of your sobriety either. You have been on the right path, and you still are.
Tags: Alcohol Rehab, alcohol treatment, Sober Among Alcoholics