Comments on: Drug Addiction and Family Dysfunction http://www.orchidrecoverycenter.com/blog/drug-addiction-and-family-dysfunction/ Alcohol and Drug Rehab for Women Fri, 10 Feb 2012 18:24:52 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6 By: Valeria W. http://www.orchidrecoverycenter.com/blog/drug-addiction-and-family-dysfunction/#comment-56429 Valeria W. Sat, 15 Jan 2011 17:53:34 +0000 http://www.orchidrecoverycenter.com/blog/?p=50#comment-56429 I'm sorry you're going through all this, Cheryl. I do hope things get better for your sister, but please remember to prioritize your own mental health and well being. I’m sorry you’re going through all this, Cheryl. I do hope things get better for your sister, but please remember to prioritize your own mental health and well being.

]]> By: Cheryl Wright-Watkins http://www.orchidrecoverycenter.com/blog/drug-addiction-and-family-dysfunction/#comment-40464 Cheryl Wright-Watkins Mon, 15 Nov 2010 18:53:23 +0000 http://www.orchidrecoverycenter.com/blog/?p=50#comment-40464 I'm the older sister of a lifelong drug addict/alcoholic. I'm the hero child when my sister is either binging, acting out or for whatever reason ostrasized. When she is coping well enough to pretend that she isn't using, my mother falls for the most outlandish stories you can imagine to explain her bizarre behaviors, health problems, frequent accidents. It's torturous to watch, listening to the implausible stories, knowing that the inevitable overdose, suicide attempt, crisis is around some next bend, and all it takes for me to become the villain is to try and pull the veil from the labyrinth of lies. A year ago, my niece called me angry and nearly hysterical because she'd heard my sister tell a friend that my father, who had been dead for 12 years, had molested her when we were children. Within a couple of weeks, my niece told me that my sister had told the story to other people. I feared that my mother would hear about it "through the grapevine" and be devastated. After much soulsearching, I decided that it would be better if I told her, cushioned the blow as best I could. Within days, my sister, who has stolen from all of us, been in jail and rehab countless times, lied so much it's natural to her, convinced my mother either that my niece made up the story or that I lied to her, and my mother didn't speak to me for 3 months. I'm 53 years old. You'd think I'd be past all this drama. I don't understand why she refuses to admit she needs help and why she refuses help when it's offered. The last serious overdose (there have been several minor events since), in February 08, she swallowed 300++++(her doctor looked me in the eye and told me this) pills - Vicodin, Valium, Xanax and assorted muscle relaxers. After 5 comatose days, she woke up and 2 days later checked out of the hospital AMA. No rehab, no physical eval, no psych eval. And, now, I wait for the next crisis. I’m the older sister of a lifelong drug addict/alcoholic. I’m the hero child when my sister is either binging, acting out or for whatever reason ostrasized. When she is coping well enough to pretend that she isn’t using, my mother falls for the most outlandish stories you can imagine to explain her bizarre behaviors, health problems, frequent accidents. It’s torturous to watch, listening to the implausible stories, knowing that the inevitable overdose, suicide attempt, crisis is around some next bend, and all it takes for me to become the villain is to try and pull the veil from the labyrinth of lies. A year ago, my niece called me angry and nearly hysterical because she’d heard my sister tell a friend that my father, who had been dead for 12 years, had molested her when we were children. Within a couple of weeks, my niece told me that my sister had told the story to other people. I feared that my mother would hear about it “through the grapevine” and be devastated. After much soulsearching, I decided that it would be better if I told her, cushioned the blow as best I could. Within days, my sister, who has stolen from all of us, been in jail and rehab countless times, lied so much it’s natural to her, convinced my mother either that my niece made up the story or that I lied to her, and my mother didn’t speak to me for 3 months. I’m 53 years old. You’d think I’d be past all this drama. I don’t understand why she refuses to admit she needs help and why she refuses help when it’s offered. The last serious overdose (there have been several minor events since), in February 08, she swallowed 300++++(her doctor looked me in the eye and told me this) pills - Vicodin, Valium, Xanax and assorted muscle relaxers. After 5 comatose days, she woke up and 2 days later checked out of the hospital AMA. No rehab, no physical eval, no psych eval. And, now, I wait for the next crisis.

]]> By: Erika http://www.orchidrecoverycenter.com/blog/drug-addiction-and-family-dysfunction/#comment-345 Erika Fri, 14 Nov 2008 21:53:19 +0000 http://www.orchidrecoverycenter.com/blog/?p=50#comment-345 Karen, That’s an interesting question. I have not seen such a study, but I’ve also not had someone ask about one. I may need to dig for a while on that. In the meantime, congratulations on your 43 days. That is such an accomplishment! I have just been helping a person with a little shorter period of sobriety (about 2 1/2 weeks). It can really be moment to moment sometimes. In the meantime, you could probably take a look at the main traits associated with your first born position and consider whether some of these are weaknesses or areas of strength for you. Do you get caught up in the stress of getting things done “right”, being in charge of many things, achievement and competition, etc. etc? Also, the thing about birth order is that it must be taken with a grain of salt and consideration for each individual and family situation. Sometimes a younger sibling will simply have a stronger more persistent temperament than the oldest sibling. The oldest may have some first born traits, but in contrast to the younger sibling, have a much more agreeable temperament. Thus, some of the effects of birth order may appear switched. So while I see about material already written about birth order, consider what I’ve told you. Birth order is not really cut and dry, so that also means that you are not “locked in” to these tendancies. Only very likely to experience issues that closely match your individual personality and family dynamics. Thanks for the great question, and I’ll get back to you. Karen,

That’s an interesting question. I have not seen such a study, but I’ve also not had someone ask about one. I may need to dig for a while on that.

In the meantime, congratulations on your 43 days. That is such an accomplishment! I have just been helping a person with a little shorter period of sobriety (about 2 1/2 weeks). It can really be moment to moment sometimes.

In the meantime, you could probably take a look at the main traits associated with your first born position and consider whether some of these are weaknesses or areas of strength for you. Do you get caught up in the stress of getting things done “right”, being in charge of many things, achievement and competition, etc. etc?

Also, the thing about birth order is that it must be taken with a grain of salt and consideration for each individual and family situation. Sometimes a younger sibling will simply have a stronger more persistent temperament than the oldest sibling. The oldest may have some first born traits, but in contrast to the younger sibling, have a much more agreeable temperament. Thus, some of the effects of birth order may appear switched.

So while I see about material already written about birth order, consider what I’ve told you. Birth order is not really cut and dry, so that also means that you are not “locked in” to these tendancies. Only very likely to experience issues that closely match your individual personality and family dynamics.

Thanks for the great question, and I’ll get back to you.

]]> By: Karen Keller http://www.orchidrecoverycenter.com/blog/drug-addiction-and-family-dysfunction/#comment-175 Karen Keller Fri, 26 Sep 2008 22:36:48 +0000 http://www.orchidrecoverycenter.com/blog/?p=50#comment-175 I am an eldest child. I have 43 days Sobriety. I am wondering if there is a study I can read about relape in relationship to BIRTH ORDER? I am an eldest child. I have 43 days Sobriety. I am wondering if there is a study I can read about
relape in relationship to BIRTH ORDER?

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