10 Things Women in Recovery Say
If you’ve spent any time around the rooms, you know there are some common things people in recovery can be heard to say. Here are 10 things women in recovery say….
“I used to hate girls until I came into the rooms”
So many times, I have heard this (and I have said this myself):” I didn’t like/trust girls before and most of my friends were guys.” I don’t really know why this is but, it seems to be really common among women in recovery to have had very few female friends. Once we got clean and sober and began working a program of recovery, however, we became to realize that…
“The women in the program saved my ass.”
Building camaraderie with women in the rooms has been life-saving for many of us. It’s a really awesome benefit to working a program – where we once didn’t trust other women (as mentioned above), we have forged close and long-lasting friendships with inspiring women in recovery – women we know we can trust and count on.
“I’m totally addicted to chocolate.”
Sugar addiction is a very real thing and especially occurs amongst the recovery population. Once we get the other junk out of our systems, we crave other brain-stimulating substances such as caffeine and sugar. On top of that, it’s pretty much a known fact that women love chocolate. When we get clean and sober, we start craving a new DOC: chocolate.
“Have I gained weight?”
Women, in general, are bombarded by images and messages that say the ideal female figure is a certain way (read: skinny and not curvy). Add to that the oft-common weight gain associated with getting clean and you have a formula for shaky self-esteem. If you were like me, you probably didn’t pay too much attention to nutrition, or solid food, in general, in your active addiction which led to extreme weight loss. Once I got clean and was able to eat solid foods again, I put on weight like gangbusters. And there’s sound science behind this phenomenon – basically, our brains were in starvation mode and, once we started eating healthy, the brain was clear in telling our body: “we’re holding on to every bit of this in case she gets that crazy idea to starve us again.”
“I need to start working out.”
It’s only logical that women in recovery are heard saying this, considering what was written above. Again, now that we’re clean and sober, we may have gained some weight – which is a good thing – and we may have gained a little more than we would have like to. Also, women in recovery declare working out because, well, we want to begin living healthy.
“There are no good guys around here.”
This has been said by many women in recovery at one point or another and I’d venture to guess especially in early recovery. Once we started feeling good and we were still on that pink cloud, it was easy to forget just how serious and life-or-death the situation was…and is. We might not have been too serious about recovery at first and were used to our old habits, such as mentally dating every guy that walked in the room – as long as we thought he was hot.
“Maybe I should swear off men.”
This is the contemplation stage that leads to the next thing that women in recovery say. This is often uttered in more of a let’s-toss-the-idea-around-but-probably-won’t-actually-do-it-sort-of-way and oftentimes after a guy hurts or betrays us. Women in recovery usually say this when they realize that their program must come first. And eventually, the relationship will happen.
“I’m on a man-ban.”
The actual swearing-off-of-men in action, many women in recovery at one time or another have either put themselves on a man-ban or have had their sponsor suggest it to them (and, if they’re serious about their recovery, have agreed to it). This really is a great way to put our focus on our recovery first and not allow ourselves to be distracted by relationships. And it’s totally doable – there are women’s meetings available so that we can surround ourselves with other recovering women and not have to worry about being distracted by the hot guy at the meeting.
“Put your ‘big girl’ panties on.”
Not to be confused with ‘granny panties.’ This expression means to basically suck it up and deal with it like a grown up. In active addiction, we would turn immediately to the drink or drug when we had a problem. Now in recovery, we must find new and mature ways of dealing with life on life’s terms.
“I want a baby.”
“I want the life I should have had by now…RIGHT NOW.” As recovering addicts and alcoholics, we are definitely all about instant gratification. A lot of women in recovery may feel like they have missed out on starting a family – or put it off for far too long while they were getting drunk and high. Now clean and sober, women in recovery are often heard saying that they want the house, the husband, the baby and so on.
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